Inuyasha, loosing someone precious
by temariXshikamaruluva
Summary: How would Inuyasha deal with the death of Kikyou? Only this time she is bannished from ever walking the earth again. Would Kagome be able to help him cope? Or would he crumble under the pain? KagomeXInuyasha oneshot


InuyashaXKagome

Their reaction to Kikyou's death, and how the help comfort each other…

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'Pain…it's not something that you can fully understand…that is until you experience it for yourself. It is an emotion so heart wrenching and mentally shattering that should you live through it you will never be the same.'

Kagome sighed melancholically in thought as she leaned up from the tree that she had been resting on. A small smile tugged at her lips as she ran a free hand through her hanyou's silky hair. His head was resting comfortably on her lap while the rest of him was sprawled out over the not so forgiving ground. 'When he wakes up he is going to be very upset.' She stiffened slightly as she felt him readjust himself to get more comfortable on her lap.

'He is one person who has experienced more than his fair share of pain and yesterday was no exception.' She thought as she continued to run her hands soothingly through his white locks. He stirred again. 'I guess it would be better if we got it over with…even though I do have a very bad feeling about this…' her smile slowly turned upside down as she became more and more anxious. She watched apprehensively as his eyes slowly fluttered open. He looked lost for a moment before his face darkened as he remembered what happened the day before. The whole world seemed to freeze in that moment. Inuyasha's life had been changed forever and this was Kagome's punishment for loving him and she knew it but she didn't care, not after what they'd been through together. He carefully reached his clawed hand up to withdraw Kagome's hand that was impaled in his hair. She didn't resist at all. He sat up from her lap and stood up with his back facing towards her as he looked up at the stars for some kind of comfort, message or reason.

He punched his hand in rage. "Damn it!" he yelled, his voice shaking the entire forest that encompassed them. He closed his eyes tightly in attempt to get a hold of his raging emotions.

"Inuyasha…" she whispered worriedly to the eerily quiet night. She propped herself up on her knees to get a better view of his godlike silhouette. He slouched over his head bowed to the ground. He began to growl low in his throat and shook violently with rage.

He took a big step with one foot forward and arching his back to the sky in one quick motion while releasing a blood curling doglike cry. He crumpled limply to his knees, his eyes still stargazing.

Kagome stood up shakily, biting her lip subconsciously, unintentionally drawing blood. She walked slowly and hesitantly up behind Inuyasha. 'He looks so lost…'

She placed a hand comfortingly on his shoulder. "It-it isn't your fault"-

"Stop it Kagome." he cut her off harshly, lowing his emotionally torn face to the ground. She could feel him shutter under her touch. "It is all my fault." he said quietly.

Kagome turned herself around so she was facing him without loosing her grip on her shoulder. She kneeled down in front of him so their faces were inches apart. "It is not your."-

"Yes it is!" he yelled furiously cutting her off again as he whipped his head up. He forcefully gripped both of her shoulders with his large demon hands tighter than he intended to. "I could have saved her…" he said quietly looking out of the corner of the eye, refusing to meet her gaze.

Kagome shook her head at him still trying to hold back her trembling lip. "Since when have you been afraid to look at me?" she asked quietly.

He was a little taken aback. He began to observe her in a new light.

She closed her eyes tightly and continued in vain to hold back her anguish. She began to shake jerkily and unwillingly let out a heavy sob. She opened her eyes and quickly bushed away her tears that were instantly replaced by new ones. "Why?" she looked down, closing her eyes tightly and squeezing her face in sorrow before raising her face to his level again. "Why Inuyasha, do you put yourself through so much pain!?"

His eyes widened slightly at her burst of emotion. He opened his mouth to reply but Kagome continued before he got the chance. "It is NOT your fault that Kikyou died!" she exclaimed not even trying to stem the flow of tears that now flew freely down her face. Her body began to shake under his hold. She looked up at him with a pleading look.

"Why? Why do you blame yourself for what happened?" she asked, her voice cracking in emotion. "There is nothing that you could have done…Naraku already killed her and cursed her to never again walk on this earth before you even knew about it." she said as she lowly became in control of her woeful emotions. He turned his face away from her heartbreaking visage. Kagome sobbed loudly and reached her free hand to his chin. "Don't be afraid to look at me." She whispered as she brought him to face her again.

He had to use all his willpower not to look away from her grieving expression. "You don't understand…this pain…" he murmured.

Kagome's eyes widened in surprise and outrage, her mouth hung open in disbelief. "Nani!?" she asked hoping that she heard wrong. "Who? Who has been by your side for the entire time! Who has been with you doing all your hardships?!" she exclaimed then she subsided and bowed her head. "Am I really that easily forgotten?" she asked quietly. "Are Miroku, Sango and Shippo really that easily forgotten?" she questioned with wide eyes. "Have we experienced no pain?"

Inuyasha's eyes widened at her confession. "No…it's just…" he tailed off not knowing what to say.

She felt her heart breaking as she gazed into his now misty eyes. She put a finger to his lips. "Its okay." she mouthed. She leaned into him and gave him a tight embrace around his middle and buried her head in his chest.

He had a sharp intake of breath at her unexpected action. He slowly relaxed in her embrace as he enwrapped one of his arms around her lower back while the other one went to caress her hair, pacifying her.

"Your right Kagome…" he mumbled in admittance. "You all have been with me…for the entire journey…" he sighed mournfully as he looked up at the star studded sky. "Why did you stay…when all I ever did was chase after Kikyou…?"

Kagome pulled back so she could see his expression. She gazed at him with a soft passive look on her tear streaked face. "I thought it would be obvious by now." she said with sad smile. He lowered his head to her level and raised an eyebrow at her.

Her smile just grew bigger. "I…I love you." she confessed without breaking their gaze.

His eyes widened almost to an inhuman extent. "Kagome…" he shook his in disbelief. "I don't deserve you…either of you."

Kagome giggled through her tears. She reached up one of her hands to pinch his cheek teasingly and nodded with a soft smile that played on her lips. "That may be true…but that's the amazing thing about love, isn't it? You can't choose who you love…you just do…"

Inuyasha scowled at her without conviction, Kagome could see his happiness within luminescent golden eyes. She moved her hand from his cheek to his hair, and ran it through affectionately. "I don't think I could ever leave you…" she mumbled, burying her face in his haori again.

His expression unexpectedly turned into a frown. "I am a filthy hanyou, a half-blood. Is it really worth it?"

Kagome's head shot up to his and smirked knowingly. "What isn't worth love…?" she bit her lip wondering how to continue. "I want you to know that it's everything about you that I love…including you being a hanyou…it's part of who you are and I would never want it any other way. You are who you are; it is part of what I love. I would never ask you to change..."

He looked away sadly only to have his face pulled back again by Kagome's hand. "Yea, yea I know…don't be afraid to look in your eyes…" mumbled Inuyasha with a slightly annoyed look on his confused face.

Kagome giggled sheepishly at him. "You're getting better." she teased.

He nodded before his face darkened. She titled her head, observing him 'I wonder what's wrong now?'

He bit his lip in thought. "Kagome…I am…" he closed his eyes not wanting to continue. 'I have lost all my pride already, what's the point in putting it off…' he though scowling inwardly. "I am…afraid…for you."

Her eyes widened. "I don't understand…"

"Kagome, Kikyou's spirit almost killed you yesterday…" He closed his eyes in memory. "I have never felt so powerless in my entire life." he admitted quietly.

She felt as though an avalanche had just fallen on her shoulders, and now she was drowning from within. She bit her lip that had begun to tremble again. "Inuyasha." She began as she removed her hand from his hair and placed it lightly on his cheek. "You have shown me countless times, hundreds, thousands of times that you would protect me with your life." she smiled at him sadly. "I hope you know that yesterday was me showing you that I'd do the same for you…" she sniffed slightly and continued her proclamation. "Ever since I met you, you have demonstrated so much passion for things that you hold close to your heart. You have a passion that I could never match, and I admire that. It is because of that passion that flows so freely off of you that it makes me want to fight for what I believe in, so even if I do die, my life will not be in vain. I will die protecting someone precious to me. After all I have been though in this era, I have changed. I love being here with Miroku, Sango, Shippo….and you. It has been a dream come true." she sighed happily. "I wouldn't change it for anything."

'She's right…I'd protect her with my life.' he thought before his face darkened. 'I guess I knew she would return the favor but it never really sunk in…I wont let her do anything of the sort.' The mere thought of her giving her life for his sent chills down his spin. His head began to spin. He closed his eyes tightly and burst out when he couldn't hold it in anymore. "But what if you do get hurt?!? What if you do die??!"

She smiled sadly at him as she rubbed his cheek with her thumb. "Inuyasha…I am mortal. Why…why do you care so much if I die? If I am lucky I'll die from old age in fifty to sixty years from now." She closed her eyes softy. "But not you." she opened her eyes again. "You will live on. You have hundreds of years left to live. To you it won't matter if I die now or in another sixty years. Either way I am just a small chapter of your life. When you die odds are you won't even remember me." She closed her eyes tightly in fear. 'I think that may have sounded a little too harsh…'

She gasped in shock when she felt his strong arms encompass her pulling her closer to him. "Don't you ever think like that." He said in a dangerously quiet voice. "I will never forget you…don't leave me." He whispered as he buried his face in her hair.

He held her as though she was his lifeline and she held him just as tightly. They withdrew from each other after what felt like a lifetime, although they still held each other at arms length.

Kagome sighed to the mysterious night sky. "Inuyasha I afraid of becoming attached to you." she laughed half heartedly. "It seems to be a little late for that though." she rolled her eyes at the unfairness of it all. "I am afraid because I know that even though she's gone, you'll still love another…Inuyasha when I think of my life all I see is you…but it's not the same with you. I don't want myself to think for one minute about something that will never come to pass." She gazed at him sincerely. "What I am trying to say here is, you're my everything…but I am not your's."

She looked away from his gaze and withdrew completely from his grasp. She stood up and walked with a slouched posture back to her old position by the tree and leaned back against it. She was slightly surprised when he followed her to the tree and sat down beside her and was even more taken aback when he put his arm around her shoulder.

"Kagome, I don't know what the future holds, nor do I try and predict it." he sighed to the night sky. He turned his attention towards her, their eyes connecting in an understanding gaze. "But there is one thing that I do know and that is I want to be with you." his expression softened slightly as he watched her face become ecstatic. "But…these days are the tides of change…and although I hate to admit it, we only have a small chance of defeating Naraku. But even though we are in this position we still must have hope." his smile grew even more while holding the gaze. "And Kagome what is life if you don't have hope?" she was taking in everything he was saying with enthusiasm. "You will never be a fragment of my memory. No matter what happens I will remember you, the way you changed me forever. The way that you made me become more open, and care…I have changed for the better since you came to the feudal era." he smiled brightly at her. "Even this moment will forever be engraved into my mind. The moment that I tell you that you're my everything, my life." he finished famously.

"Inuyasha?"

"Mmmm?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"I love you." she buried herself into her chest and gripped his haori tightly.

He smiled softy. "I love you too."

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temariXshikamaruluva


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